Mabon- Equinox- Harvest Fiest

Mabon is approaching, everything gain for balance– the balance between light and darkness, producing and harvesting, positive and negative… Anything!

I love that time of year, I feel more grounded, stable, peaceful and relaxed. Now it’s the time for me to look back at waht I have sown and harvested and I must say, this time it really looks very good 😉 I like it and it is the time to say a big, a really BIG THANK YOU to the loved ones around us, to thank Mother Nature for all her rich gifts she is presenting us with, for all her patience with us – her demanding and all too often unbehaving children.

Yes, we ALL should become aware of how much we OWE her. Without her soil, without her water, wind and other elements we wouldn’t be. We could not be without her. And still we do not appreciate her, respect her and I think too many of us do not even think about our Earth as a living being who should be appreciated, respected and loved…

Yes, we should thank ourselves for everything we achieved this last year and we should LOVE ourselves for all we have done, but we should also THANK Mother Earth for all she has done for us and given to us.

Gratitude and Love are the two most important fuels in live, see Masaru Emoto’s Water Crystals as evidence:

So, think about the way you treat the water you drink, cleanse your thoughts and enjoy a wonderful Mabon 😉

Blessed Being,

Ava’

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9/11- 10 Years after

10 years later and still the events of that day are uncomprehendable, hard to grasp, painful and leaving me (and many others) almost speechless.
What have I done on that day? My day started quite usual, getting up, drinking coffee, having a cigarette, turning on my computer and the TV. I thought ‘how about having a look at news of the world?’ and I skipped from MTV to CNN only to see a skyscraper in billowing smoke and fire which made me think of a “Die Hard” Trailer- a bad one by that- but first I couldn’t believe what my eyes told my brain.
Slowly I read and reread the headlines under those pictures: “Aircraft crashed into World Trade Center”…

A rush of adrenaline cursed through my vains, my mind went into hyperdrive and my thoughts started racing- repeating these lines times and times and times: ‘It CAN’T be happening! That must be a terrible mistake, an appalling joke!’ While my mind tried to work those pictures out another input made its way to my brain… A second plane flew directly into the 2nd tower to rip it apart.

Unfothamble pain wahsed over me, I know I didn’t have friends or relatives anywhere near New York City or even the US, but still all those lives that would have been taken at precise that moment when the plains crashed into the towers made me shiver, and let tears pour down my face. I felt cold, stiff unable to move or to speak- I was shocked deeply to the core. Only one question repeated itself in my head ‘Why?’ but would this question ever be answered satisfactorily? No, not even today, 10 years later I found an answer. Despite the medias and politicians efforts to find an answer to give us an answer, but can such an act of aggression ever be explained?

Soon war was declared, a war against terrorism and as war go other lives were taken, again lives of innocent people, for our freedom. But how can we be free when freedom is bought with blood? Do aggression and violence lead to peace and freedom? Can any sensitive being believe in peace through war?

Were do we stand today, ten years later? Afghanistan, Iraq- are those people free, do they live in peace? Are we free of fear of terrorists and new attacks? No! Those people still suffer from oppression and terror and what about us? Are we free of fear, has our world become more peaceful, easier?

Now we do not only fear some unknown, evil terrorists lurking around corners but also financial brakdown, the global crash, another black friday… So what did we gain with that war against terrorism? Answers, satisfaction, peace for our hearts, minds and souls? I don’t think so… We only earned more dead bodies, more anger, hatred, aggression- the ideal matrix for fanatics, lunatics and other power hungry people who do not care for anybody but themselves…

To me it feels the world is still shaken to its core, we are still in shock and still running around like chickens with their heads chopped off… And maybe we are… think about the bigger meaning… WORLD TRADE CENTER down…. It’s not an American trauma, it’s a worldwide one…

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Economic Government

Due to the recent economical recess and crisis our European “leaders” debate wether having an economic government is necessary or not.

Hello! Wake up, we are already ruled by financial big heads with not much more on their mind than profit, profit and even more profit! People do not seem to count, only facts & figures GM and profit…

Instead of wins and losses and how to get their own salaries even higher, they should use their common sense (do they have such a sense?) and give us and our small purses a rest!

Pensions, health and educational funds are getting smaller and smaller, inflation and big heads salaries are rising- but who has to give the money for their estates, big limousines, yachts and golf resorts? WE, those people they don’t care about….

Gosh, I need a break & coffee…

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Auf den sanften Schwingen des Schmerzes

Gleite ich empor in die Helligkeit der Nacht,
Geboren aus Feuer und Asche,
Um zu vergehen in der Nichtigkeit des Seins.

Der dunkle Bruder, mein Gefährte,
Berührt mit Engelsschwingen den Tag,
Sinken gemeinsam als Nacht,

Um der Erde Träume zu geben,
Lasst uns entzünden das Licht,
Lasst uns das Vergangene feiern und das Neue begrüßen.

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What does it mean?

to be irrevocably in love? It could mean you are in love happily ever after- or as happy as one can be in a relationship- life’s a rollercoaster ride after all 😉

It could also mean you fell in love, straight away and had a share of ‘happily ever after’- only that ‘ever after’ ended all too soon, because your love told you one day you were their love of their life and then just the other day they didn’t love you anymore.

What then?

Yes, that’s the question, what then?

What if you are REALLY commited to that ONE person, to that ONE love? Just turn around, walk away, lick your wouds and get on?

To me it meant something like that… Break down, somehow get back up, get my heart ‘repaired’, get my mind back on track of life, but leaving an important part of my heart and soul behind. The part which WAS, IS and always WILL BE committed to MY life’s love….

After all I am IRREVOCABLY in love…

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Dear Lost Love,

I was lost, I was devastated, my heart was ripped out of my chest and what remained was a gaping hole. Not a clean cut, but a hole, constantly bleeding, constantly hurting.

Somehow I managed to get back on my feet, to get my life going again. For some it may seem like I achieved something- a family- but for me it’s a mere substitute for the one love, the one true felt, bonedeep, ever lasting love…

But it went away- YOU went away and left me behind- most of the time I’m managing quite well, but at some days it is harder than on others, and YOU are still there- in the back of my mind, in the depths of my soul and heart.

I can still feel your touch, smell your sweet breath and hear your smooth voice, I can even see you with my inner eye- but every time I open my eyes- you are gone…

I wonder if you think of me?

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… And Always Will…

Dear my lost love,

I loved you, I love you still and I will love you, always. It’s a fact, not a delusion, it’s an emotion, an overwhelming one. It warms me and it hurts me, but nevertheless it’s still there, branded into my heart and soul. Sometimes it is growing to an almost unberable thing, sometimes and days it’s drawing back to a slight humming, but always there.

This emotion is my constant attender and tutor. I cannot shake it or lose it. It’s my life’s lesson. I tried to let it go- so many times- but it never went fully away- maybe it’s got a life of its own?

The sun is still shining, the earth keeps turning, I’m going on with my life, but a part of me is still attached to you and I wonder if you think of me too? I found your email, but I am too much of a coward to dare to write. I am not sure is it of fear of straight out refusal or is it of fear of finding out you feel the same?

Maybe I’ll find out… Some day…

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